"Interestingly normal...avergare with a twist, a little odd or slightly bent. Perhaps dreamy or hopeful, distracted or bored, eager or dull."
It's these sorts of descriptions that actors love as they are invaluable in nailing down your character. I decided to go all out for this one and be interesting, normal, twisty, odd, dreamy, hopeful, distracted, bored, eager AND dull. I didn't bother with 'slightly bent' as that's a given. The 'avergare' description was a tricker proposition however after googling avergare Google asked me if I meant average and I realised I did so then I asked 'Should I keep acting?' and it brought up this page about Vanessa Hudgens. It's actually an online poll and I clicked the box for 'Yes! I love Vanessa!' along with 15% of other participants. Predictably a whopping 59% have clicked on the 'Her best talent is getting naked. More porn!' box, which is a sad indictment on how 59% of the population view actors who accidently get photographed taking off their undies. We've all been there.
The audition was what I like to call a 'pulling faces' audition where there is lots of looks and no dialogue. I'd been for a few auditions with this particular casting director and he's lovely and makes you feel right at ease. He used to be an actor himself and I've found that most of the best casting directors have at some time been on the other side of the camera and have some understanding of what you're going through. He asked me what scripts I'd been sent. I told him. He stared at me for a while. He told me he wouldn't bother auditioning me for the first one. I asked why. He said the character had been changed to a painter. I started to cry on the inside. He laughed. I decided I didn't like him so much anymore.
That's one of many problems with auditions and particularly commercial auditions. Nobody knows what they want. I had done all my preparation to become a surveyor and then boom goes the dynamite, he drops the painter bomb and in all of two seconds has decided I'm not cut out to be a painter. Bullshit. I had a good mind to tell him that my dad has worked his whole life in the paint and hardware industry and I've had a lot of experience with paint and even helped tint a paint once. I know the difference between undercoat and overcoat, water-based and enamel and have even used and washed a roller on a long pole. I also painted my grandfather's house single handedly. His house was one of those old weatherboard houses as well and was quite tricky to paint, especially up under the gables.
When you've taken a hit like that it's hard to recover however being a professional I managed to regain composure to focus on the second role which had even more useful character information courtesy of some hedging agency creative.
"This is the guy that things happen to."
Great. This auditon was a complicated one and involved a nod, an awestruck look, an incredulous look, a look of wonderment, a look of wonderment followed by disappointment, a look of frustration, a look of frustration followed by resignation and eating cake in a hurry. The casting director continued to laugh at me after every take which may have been a good thing or he may have still been imaging me as a painter. Anyway, I think the commercial will be dumb so if I don't get it I don't mind although I may paint the casting building just to prove a point.
Just before I finish I'd like to point out the wee box sitting at the bottom of this post. It may not be there if you're reading it via Facebook however if you're reading it here it is. Why don't you move your cursor over it and share this on your Twitbook, or MyDigg, Bleetbox, Blip, Bloggy, Dipdive, Doower, HEMiDEMi, Link-a-Gogo, Mister Wong, Planypus, Stuffpit or my favourite Windy Citizen. Then a little line graph will tell me how many times you've done it, where you did it and what you're wearing.
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