A Twitter of Tibetan Mastiffs

It's been well over a month since my last post, which in blog months is 7 months and in dog blog months is 49. I read somewhere you should be tweeting at least every two hours to build a Twitter following, but I have no idea what the vital statistics are with blogging. A tweet every two hours means twelve tweets a day, or approximately 360 tweets a month. If you were a tweeting dog this would equate to 2,520 tweets a month, 84 tweets a day, or approximately 3.5 tweets an hour, which wouldn't leave much time for sniffing dog bums and licking your dog bollocks. The only person I follow who can out-tweet a dog is Stephen Fry, perhaps because he looks a bit like a big cuddly dog with an astounding vocabulary of barks.

This is shit but I spent 10 minutes on it and don't want to feel like I wasted my time.

I'll digress here before this becomes a post of Stephen Fry's pate crudely pasted on pictures of pooches using Microsoft Paint.

George 'Gatling-Gun' Michael, as he is known in the Twitterverse, can give Stephen a good run for his money when his anger is roused, although he then usually goes quiet for a few days to recover and sing Club Tropicana with his big orchestra. The really fantastic thing he does though is occasionally end tweets with an 'and'. 140 characters isn't enough for George to express his outrage and when he starts firing nobody else you follow can get a tweet in sideways... except for Hamish Keith. What's even better is that Hamish managed to lob his tweet through the one minute window straight after George's 'and' tweet, so you could read them together before George's follow up. George was angry with the portrayal of two gay characters on Eastenders and Hamish was angry that no one remembered today is Armistice Day. So together they go...

So far, Christian has been beaten up 3 times that I can remember, and is now accused of child molestation. Sayed has been disowned and no one seems to remember that this is Armistice Day end of WWI at 11 am - we commemorate the defeat at Gallipoli & ignore the peace.

Either my life is tragic or that's incredible. Two tweets from two men who have probably never met each other combine to create a mystic megatweet full of hidden depth and wonder. This sort of thing should be actively encouraged by forcing everyone who tweets to pop an 'and' at their end. I'm sure Twitter could bump up the character allowance to 144, (which is a square and a MUCH more pleasing number than 140), so Tweeters don't feel short changed. Then we could all just sit back and watch the wonder unfold. Rather than a series of unconnected observations, our feeds would become a neverending story...ahhhhh, ahhhhh, ahhhhh.

This one only took 5 minutes but I'm much happier with it.

Surely someone out there could talk to someone and make this happen... the neverending tweet that is, not Limahl's head on a Tibetan Mastiff.

Just before I finish I'd like to start up what I hope will be a sporadically amusing section of the blog called 'Only In Australia'. Let's kick things off with this photo of a truck I spied this morning parked on Little Collins Street.

And a close-up to truly appreciate the genius at work.

Only one question. Did they know? Oi. Oi. Oi.