The Third Ronnie

I was hoping I wouldn't have to do this however I feel I have no choice after such an outrageous, potentially libelous and probably calumnious statement was made about me in a recent review in the NBR.

The review itself is a good one and was written by a man with the rather funny name of John Daly-Peoples. I've never met Daly-Peoples and don't know if he wears glasses however after reading the following line I'm pretty sure if he doesn't he should.

"Gregory Cooper...looks a bit like Ronnie Corbett."

Ronnie bloody Corbett! Jesus wept. Apparently just beacuse my character is wearing over-sized glasses I bear an uncanny resemblance to the unfunny Ronnie in The Two Ronnies. The Ronnie who wasted minutes of every episode sitting in his big leather chair in his Lyle & Scott golfing V-neck laughing at himself telling one really long unfunny joke when the genius of Ronnie Barker could have been sitting in the chair fast asleep and been infinitely more amusing. Ronnie Barker died in 2005 however I bet if you dug him up and put him in a BBC studio he'd still be way funnier than Corbett.

This statement is even more truly, truly, truly outrageous than Jem and the Holograms and I cannot let it go unchallenged.

Let's contrast and compare a few photos that will prove Daly-Peep-holes is way out of line. Let's start with a look at me in the show.

Before we go any further take a moment to marvel at all the acting I'm doing. There's so much going on isn't there. I look fierce, frightened and frigid all at the same time. You know you're really cooking when you can convey three emotions at once although the greats like Olivier, Daniel Day and Shatner could get it up to five. If Olivier had been doing my role he would have added fustration and fury and probably a bit of flaccidity just to show off. Anyway, now let's have a look at Ronnie Corbett.

The glasses are a completely different shape. Completely different! It's this sort of lazy journalism that causes so much mental pain and anguish and potential loss of income. Imagine if this Ronnie Corbett comparison caught on, my career would be dead in the water as opposed to the treading water drowning state it's in now.

Other people I am regularly compared to are:

Hugh Grant...

 

Jason Gunn...

 

And John Roderick, a Hugh Grant impersonator from the Splitting Images celebrity look-alike agency in the UK. No offence John but I look heaps more like Hugh than you do. I think this is where my career should be heading. Why bother with all this line learning and theatre crap when I could be cashing in by whoring myself to all and sundry as a Hugh Grant look-a-like. I also look scarily like Hitler when I grow a wee moe and I'm sure there would be a niche market for that in Timaru or Invercargill.

Hitler, Hugh, Jason and Ronnie Corbett...god I'm versatile.