Monday, December 20, 2010

Must Trey Harder

It's the time of the year when people look back over the year and ask where the year has gone. We say things like, "It seems like only yesterday I was putting the Christmas tree up", as we put the Christmas tree up. How we can feel like we did something yesterday that obviously wasn't done yesterday because we're doing it today is a mystery. Time is mysterious. Albert Einstein spent a lot of time trying to shed some light on the subject and even he concluded that it's relatively mysterious.
Albert Einstein - inventor of time

He doesn't look very happy does he. That's what you get for thinking about mysterious things for too long. This gentleman is not a theoretical physicist and he looks much happier.
Not a theoretical physicist.
He's got crazy looking eyes though. Perhaps he's an alien like Newt Gingrich?
Newt Gingrich
It all makes sense. I downloaded Jeff Wayne's 'War of the Worlds' soundtrack yesterday and Richard Burton may as well have been warning us all about Facebook.


“No one would have believed, in the last years of the nineteenth century, that human affairs were being watched from the timeless worlds of space. No one could have dreamed we were being scrutinized, as someone with a microscope studies creatures that swarm and multiply in a drop of water. Few men even considered the possibility of life on other planets and yet, across the gulf of space, minds immeasurably superior to ours regarded this Earth with envious eyes, and slowly and surely, they drew their plans against us.”

Mark Zuckerberg is a Martian. Q.E.D.


I thought I would use what remaining time I have until Mark Zuckerberg blows me with his heat ray to look back at the highs and lows of my blog over 2010. Using the power of Google stats I can tell you that my blog has been viewed 5218 times. Nearly half of these pageviews have come from the United States. Right now there are four people in the U.S looking at it and yesterday I had two visits from Thailand and one from the Netherlands.


The most popular search keywords people have used that brought them to my blog are:


greg cooper blog
trey songz tattoo
images of trey songz tattoo
pictures of trey songz with his shirt off
pic of trey songs tattoo
trey songs tattoos
greg cooper new zealand
gregory cooper blog
gregory cooper facebook
ultimate beaver example on people
allergic to vagina

Fascinating isn't it. There is a theme. Can you spot it? Can you guess with of my 51 posts has had the most views? That's right, this one! The one that features a picture of Trey Songz. This post alone has accounted for
1228 of my 5218 impressions. Nearly a quarter of my traffic is due to this picture of Trey Songz.


What this tells me is that I could have not bothered writing a sausage and just had 51 posts of different pictures of Trey Songz and more people would have seen my bloody blog. There I was thinking I was all clever and ironic dissing Trey's hit 'Neighbors Know My Name' when all the time Trey was the only reason my blog had an audience in the first place. The second most popular post had a paltry viewership of 231. 231!

Man I feel bad. I feel bad like Harry Potter (SPOILER ALERT) when he sucked in all of Severus Snape's memories and found out that he was really quite a nice guy and had been helping Harry all along. I'm listening to 'Neighbors Know My Name' right now with tears of guilt running down my face and dripping onto the cat. It's a beautiful song by a beautiful man. My beautiful traffic driver. His video has had over 12 million views and has garnered a great deal of insighful comment like:

OMG THIS IS MY FAVORITE SONG I LISTEN TO IT EVERY DAY I COME HOME FROM SCHOOL TREY IS SOO FINE LOLZ  ;)
why is he so horny all the damn time gosh xD
Defanitalyy going to have sex to this song, when i do.!! <3
Man, With that Scripture tattoo on his chest. You could read the whole bible while doin it! lol just kidding

i wish i was her who with me
Is That Spirm,Milk OR Oil? I'm Soo Confused.

I would kill to get these sorts of comments on my blog. Just awesome. It's only fair that I attempt to drive some of my audience Treys way, so please buy his latest album. Here's a photo of my copy with my tears of shame all over Trey's face.
So far my favourite track is Panty Droppa. What's yours?

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